A spider crept off of the pen...other
sneaky and hateful things will follow. I promise.
For the first time in years [lie] I
examined the veins in my wrist. It isn’t worth it, I know, but I through long
and hard for reasons why not.
Dave explained his marital status tonight
and that he will be locked in tight for 1 ½ years. And then…most likely it’ll
be exactly what I want, yet successfully reaching romantic goals has yet to
exist in my life. I know that I’m the only woman in his life, but not the most
important person. He loves his son. And that’s understandable. Being selfish
is…well, selfish.
I just stopped crying. He has so much to
work out and as I told him, I’ll be patient until ‘we get to the point where we
need to have a talk”. He’ll be moving soon and I won’t have the luxury of
casually seeing how things develop or where things go in the upcoming months. I
know where things go. Georgia. And when you wipe the feminist dust off of ‘my
decision to wait for him is MY decision’ it’s really just centering my life on
a man.