Tuesday, December 11

Emotional Masturbation

For what feels like months, although it’s been weeks, I’ve avoided writing in this for its sheer potential destruction. About two months ago I decided to make a Marine officer fall in love with me—not because I particularly care for him or longed for his love and affections, but because I wanted to see if I could. It was a game and I proved the victor.


And now I am seated in a very confused state because this man’s love has created a set of genuine emotions I didn’t anticipate and from which I must suffer. He no longer wishes to spend time with me, basing this decision on self-preservation; he has seceded from my union for no other reason than what’s best for him. I suppose that’s respectable, but respect is hardly what I would choose to exert to this individual.