Thursday, July 17

Memory Bins

The Captain and I broke up. I haven’t drank since June 21. I haven’t thrown up since then either. I suppose things are going well. I miss him, though. His place in the living room is empty.


When we last spoke he was incredibly cold and uninterested, so I got the hint. He also told me that he’s ‘moving on’. I got that hint as well. It’s strange that I awaited the summer throughout our relationship so as to actualize his departure, yet I am sad upon its arrival.  Closure is missing. The break-up was so quick and on the phone. But what do I need? A face to face ‘fuck you’? And what to make of the expectation that he will walk up my driveway wanting to talk and patch things up? That he remembers telling me that he loves me, that I had him wrapped around my finger, r that I could call him in a year, no matter where I am, and that he’d come for me? Do I throw all that away? Where do I put all those memories?