Hale-Bop

I had a lovely conversation with a comet earlier this evening. A dazzling and breathtaking comet at that. Before we encountered one another, I had one hundred million tense muscles—each bearing a small pulse, beating, haunting me through my skin. After our exchange, I felt without bones let alone muscles.

Perhaps I healed myself, but this recovery is often sought and rarely found. My star spangle in the sky simultaneously inspired welcome words to my mind and heart. The gas and dust of the comet has cleared my mind, and even stranger, increased my appreciation for whatever falls below it. 

Changes

One such day could ruin the rest. The one when you realize there’s no way to change the things about you that you’d like to change. To live in the course of nature and accept things is far too simple…and absurd. Simpleton notions are ones I need to breathe in like the spores of a pollinating flower. This is me, who I am, what I say and how I live. I need to accept that these aspects may be unattractive but beautiful, as is their bearer. 

Bittersweet

Goodbyes are so bittersweet no matter what the circumstance. I use ‘sweet’ only under which the context of goodbyes should be put; I use ‘bitter’ for what they actually are. Whether short and sweet or endless and tear-bearing, the hurt creates a piercable and meek shield around me, which I try to strengthen but unfortunately know of its weaknesses. I feel like these awkward embraces are slowly becoming less awkward, only because I know it’s not really goodbye. 

Elm St.

I’ve realized many things in the past—and upon discovery, threw them in a box, never considering to uncover their details. Tonight one such realization occurred to me, ancient yet important. The one of my happiness—or whatever closest to it I can attain—disappearing for no good reason when in the mode of ‘crush’. I fall apart only because I am undoing the seams and lose my voice because I thrown all my dongs into the sea. All of this is in my hands. The hopelessness of it torturing me then, and partially now, can die through the hands of its possessor. I am the girl who killed the dream and replaced it with a nightmare. I sleep now to face this.