Friday, February 14

Happy Heart Day

This used to be my favorite holiday, but its novelty has expired. The time of making valentines is over. The days have passed, only to be replaced with drunken declarations explaining the inevitable solitude of what will be my twilight years.


I’m tired of the nights; the bar scene is stale and boring. And all the cutest boys, for their own respective reasons, are unappealing. Indeed, I vie for the attention from boys who aren’t as smart or fun as I am, who don’t get me or make me laugh, while in addition to never making me happy make me miserable. These laws of property surround me and I fall victim. But I am ever so eager for gravity to take its course and for one of them to fall for me.