I’m not perfect. I fuck up. I’m allowed to make mistakes. This is horribly reasonable, but I need to write it down. Sensibilities are not the easiest for me to process. My mental breakdown (input/output) of anything is
morphed.
The answers are not always apparent and
they will not appear through intensive introspection. The point is to believe
in the ‘analysis is paralysis’ catchphrase enough to abandon its practice. But
how do I do that? Should I ultimately stop thinking altogether? Is that how
people successfully feel? Or am I confused and yet, I think more about being
confused that I spend actually feeling it.
I would like to actually feel with my
heart (neck down) and leave the neck up for thinking. But I reverse the
function of mind and heart. That’s what some guy on the other end of a suicide
hotline told me. I called him from the bathroom of my college dorm 20 years
ago. I wonder if he’s still around.