I hesitate writing this for I fear its
dissipation upon recognition...His ghost has been exorcised. I have serenity.
All the events of the past year have led to a sense of peace in the present
moment. The prospect of fulfilling my life with things that don’t involve him
elate me. I regret not having cut men out of the equation of my ultimate
fulfillment sooner, but that’s the thing about the past, it’s always mocking
you.