Boys Don't Make Passes at Girls Who Wear Glasses

I don’t know how to escape the torturing pinch of men. 
I feel things, unsure as to the validity of the feelings. 
Obsessions mingle and muddle
Boundariless with true interest 
To the point where I can’t see where one starts and the other ends

I have no true feelings for any boy in DC. I just want to win. Win one of these boys. 
But my need, my desire, my intensity deters any healthy competition, for it deters him from even playing. 

If I win, am i winning?
Is this a victory? 

But there's no competition. Because men flee from sarcasm, acidic wit, and intelligence....and misanthropy....and low self-esteem. 

Who's the one to take these as parts of the whole? 
Is this one of those post-structuralist debates where binaries explode and implode only to make a whole new thing? A scared new-me. 

Maybe some more vodka will clear this up. It certainly made it murky--
It's the classic case of adding a little of the virus to the vaccine
Except in this analogy I'm just going to get more drunk