I mean, what was so bad in her life? It’s not that I think one has to
lose everything and reach a certain level of demoralization to
qualify as an alcoholic. But when a lady with diamonds surrounding her
manicured fingernails shares her level of enlightenment from helping her kids
with homework without needing a glass of merlot, it’s hard to relate. They
always—seriously, always—have weird voices, their marriages were on
the verge of ending but never did, their kids are in college but there’s always
a younger one still turding along serving as the vehicle through which she can
exemplify being an “awesome sober mom”. And these ladies never talk about the
solution; terms like “serenity,” “self-care,” or “mindfulness,” are not common
when they share anecdotes about how hard it was staying sober at their sister’s
wedding at a winery. Listen Lauren, your anecdotes don’t reassure me that the
tenets of Alcoholics Anonymous are working. I’m not hearing the message. And it’s
a good thing you’re practicing keeping your cool with the other soccer moms
because someone will be moving your purse in Jazzercise 20 years from now.